The country has had some time now to assimilate it's views on the sexual proclivities amid yesterday's revelations about trans-gender and transsexual political and Republican leaders of the American population.
Psychologists agree there is new attention being paid to one's own sexuality and especially to their own genital equipment. Self examination has led to many sins of Onan condemned in the Bible, spilling one's seed on the ground rather than in a widowed sister-in-law's vagina. There are clearly not enough widowed sister-in-laws to go around now that so many more people are aware of what their newly realized genital manipulation can lead to.
Therefore, The Trump United Bible Temple and it's affiliated Mega-Church of Jesus and Saints has provided the answer to the horns of this dilemma. For only a twenty dollar donation, it will provide a specially blessed seed cup to hold this holy emission until it can be inserted into a burn alter to be made into ashes to waft back up to the Lord. This special ceramic alter will be sent along with forgiveness for any sin that might have occurred in collection of seed for a small donation of only fifty dollars in US currency or postal money order (no checks, please). Act now to save your seed and soul. Salvation guaranteed or your money refunded.
This column today brought to you by The Trump Mega-Church of Jesus: Pastor Father Donald Trump and Sister Melania.
No comments:
Post a Comment