Cell Phone Generation

Does anyone not have a cell phone  Too poor; the Federal Government will send you one for free with some free minutes attached.One of the funniest things I have ever seen involved two inebriated, homeless men.  One had obtained a cell phone and was trying to activate it while his pal watched.  He tried several times to enter the required numbers without success.  His friend said "wait, I'll get my phone and we'll try again.  When he returned, he said "now call out the right numbers and I'll enter them for you."  The numbers were called out and he carefully entered them, except he entered them on his phone instead of the new one.  It obviously didn't work and both threw down their phones in disgust.  "The hell with it" they agreed and "lets go and get some more vodka and maybe it'll start working."  And off they went in search of more alcohol.  As I observed; everyone has a cell phone whether they need one or not.
   Also, they always need a new one. The Chinese roll them out by the boatload and the distributors and sales people want more and more added to them to increase their sales until they seem like a Swiss Army Knife with about fifty fold outs with some scissors, a nail file and two kinds of screwdrivers till one is hard pressed to find an actual blade to cut something with.  Cell phones will find food for you. lock or unlock your home, guide you when you want to go somewhere, do your banking, etc. until it becomes a task to find the button to push with which to make an actual telephone call to somebody.
   I fully expect one day they will make a cell phone that can be implanted in someone's head.  I will then witness long lines in front of  "The Apple Store & Surgical Center" for the debut of the new I-26 skull phone.  Maybe a Republican Congress will pass a rule that will take us back to the good old days of two tin cans and a long string.  I guess I'm too old to be surprised by anything anymore.